I haven't written in a while I know. I'm going to fill you in on what has changed.
It's not that I don't go on here, the thing is that I do....a lot. I log on and then I write a message, but then I stop. I stop because every single time I write, I am at a loss for words.
Somedays are good, and somedays are bad. You just need to learn to, believe it or not, enjoy both of them! You know why? Because you're alive. You will never get a day back. You will never get a second back. Why do you want that second wasted on something that doesn't make you feel good?

I have to say that things for me lately have been going pretty well! And I could tell you that. But the thing is, is that you don't know that last night I was on the phone with my mom (my real mom) crying so hard because she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. Crying because it felt like no-one was here for me, crying because I didn't know what to do. I just needed somebody, but I didn't want anybody.

And lately everyone has been asking me what I want and I always say the same thing. I say: "I don't know" and people must be getting really annoyed hearing me say that, but I don't have anything else to say! I just don't know! And I guess here's my reasoning: I am seventeen years old. I'm a foster child who ran away from home. I am flat on my ass broke. I never got to grow up. I've never had a childhood, I never got to be a kid or act like a kid. But all of a sudden, I have to make these decisions that an adult wouldn't be able to make. I have to decide if I'm going to move home, or to stay where I am. The thing is, is that I want to go home....but I can't. I can't because if I did go back, it would be the same. I don't believe that anything has changed!