Introducing an introduction about my Vent Book!

This is more like a warning entry than anything else....
First off, I'm going to explain to you what some of my next couple of posts are going to be.
I am the kind of person that gets their emotions out with simply a pencil and a piece of paper. I can really release everything that I bottle up inside through writing. I started this secret journal in the begginning of April, 2012. It started because I wasn't having a very good day, and I felt like no-one would understand if I told them.
This isn't diary.
There's no gossip.
Think of it more as an oberservation book. When I was in 8th grade, I called it a "Vent Book". In this "Vent Book", I talk about things that I experience and things that I have learned, things that I wish would happen, things that I wish wouldn't and shouldn't. It's a much more deep thinking kind of journal. I look at the occurrences in life and analyze it and I think in a more intelligent way than most would while simply writing a diary entry. Anyways, I'll be posing passages from my Vent Book sometimes and I just want to let you guys know that, that's not what's occurring in my life as of the moment, but I have lived through it. I'll say "Vent Book" somewhere in the title  so that you can decipher my life thoughts and my past journal entries.

Katie Bak

Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to tell you about someone who has been one of the greatest influences in my life.

Her name is Katie Bak.

She has reddish/brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes and a smile that can make anyone’s day. She's the girl that everyone envy's, but she is too humble to see. She holds self confidence, beauty and 100 years of wisdom inside of her, and has limitless love to give. She listens without judgment, and gives advice with care. She is one of the only people I know that has a heart completely in the right place….

She is the only person I would ever let get away with running over my mailbox with a car!

I have known Katie since elementary school, so about 9 years. I remember we used to play with each other’s hair in fifth grade during reading time. I used to call her all of the time in middle school because it felt like she was the only one who would ever listen without arbitrating me. In the beginning of high school, we rode the bus to school together, and shared my iPod, and listened to sappy love songs or totally obnoxious music.

But as time progresses, things change. Katie is now graduating early from high school a year before her grade, and is going to be attending BYU in Utah. She leaves in eight days, and I wanted a way to tell her how much I love her, and how much I appreciate everything that she has done for me. 

Katie, the brightest things are in store for you. Your future will be filled with the most wonderful things, things that you have always wanted. Life will bring you happiness, bliss and the purest of love. You deserve every bit of happiness that this world has to offer and everyone who knows you agrees with that. So here is to you, Katie! I am going to miss you so much, and I'm so happy and proud of you! This is a pretty lame "little gift" for you but, I'm a broke teenager and nothing that I would have bought for you would be able to tell you how much I love and will miss you.

Whenever you hear this song, it's God sending it to you, with love from me.

Thank you for always being there. Be safe. I love you.

-Nessa<3

Ps: Katie inspired me to restart my blog through her amazing one called: Let it be like breathing. For those of you, who don't know me or her personally, check it out and you'll see her beauty show through her writing!

We're all friends forever

From left to right: Katie, Nessa, Katey, Catie, Anna and (foreign exchange student) Vivian.

100 years

This is my first post on my blog and to be honest, I'm not quite sure what to say....I guess you're probably wondering what is the significance of the title I have chosen and I think an explanation would be a good place to start.

I remember the late nights in the car, where I was half asleep in the backseat. I would half consciously listen to this song playing softly on the radio. It was almost as if every time I would begin to fall asleep, this song would play to remind me that life can be short. 100 years isn't a long time. In this song, 100 years exists within a 4 minute melody.

So please read these lyrics and keep an open mind. I'll explain everything at the bottom!

100 years-Five for Fighting:

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
And she feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm of age

A kid on the way, babe
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star

15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on
I'm 99 for a moment
Time for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way
Every day's a new day

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

So I bolded the line that I feel is one of the most important in this song. I'm 99 for a moment. Time for just another moment. I used to think about that phrase a lot. When it comes time in my life for just another moment what would I see? How would I feel? Would I be at peace? I'm always afraid that I will realize that I forgot in that last moment.

I forgot to live.

I mean really live.

So for as long as I can remember, I've always been one of those memory junkies, the one who always wants to remember everything and who always wants to live in the moment. So you see my purpose of this blog is to talk about my 100 years. For me to live, remember and not regret, and for you to learn from my mistakes and to keep in mind that every one post equals passing time. For each one you read, what have you accomplished in your life since the last entry?

I'm only 17 years old, but I know like I know that I will regret so much if I don't remember how to live like I mean it. So I guess it'll be a message of some sort for all the people who come across my blog, because after all....you only got 100 years to live, right?

-Nessa <3 

Ps: Here's the song if you would like to hear it---> 100 years